Another great Christmas and another great random IM... This IM comes from some guy named skip, who I obviously do not know in person but mistakes me for one of his friends. I played along and really had some fun as usual =)

I 3rd i I (11:04:39 PM): hey ... mike, it's me ... skip. did i do something to make you not want to talk to me anymore? i've written emails, IMed, blah blah .... but nothing back. i'm confused.
MAiKU (11:04:52 PM): yea you did
I 3rd i I (11:04:59 PM): ?
MAiKU (11:05:02 PM): the fact that you don't even know shows what an asshole you really are
I 3rd i I (11:05:08 PM): huh?
I 3rd i I (11:05:13 PM): wow .. i have no clue.
I 3rd i I (11:05:23 PM): serious.
MAiKU (11:05:37 PM): some friend
I 3rd i I (11:06:01 PM): mike ... i'm sorry, but i don't know what it is i did wrong. i didn't do anything - at least i didn't mean to.
MAiKU (11:06:29 PM): how can you be sorry for something you don't even "know" that you did?
I 3rd i I (11:07:11 PM): but, it looks like all you wanna do is call me names and point fingers - so, i guess i won't try anymore. i've been trying for a while - writing emails and what not. i'm 'sorry' for whatever it is i did .. i just don't know.
I 3rd i I (11:08:33 PM): so, i won't bother you anymore. *confused as hell* - but, i guess that's life. i just don't get it - and that's not fair to me. i've always been your friend ....
I 3rd i I (11:08:38 PM): *sigh* bye then
MAiKU (11:08:41 PM): wow
MAiKU (11:08:47 PM): you're just gonna cry and give up
MAiKU (11:08:56 PM): don't be a little baby
I 3rd i I (11:09:01 PM): well, yeah ... i suppose. i mean - this is weird. i don't know what to do.
I 3rd i I (11:09:15 PM): you're calling me names and blaming me for stuff ... when i have no clue what the problem is.
I 3rd i I (11:09:24 PM): this isn't like you.
MAiKU (11:09:24 PM): why don't you think about it
MAiKU (11:09:39 PM): you have absolutely NO IDEA whatsoever, what it coudl be? i find that hard to believe
MAiKU (11:09:46 PM): a true friend would know when he's at fault for something
MAiKU (11:09:52 PM): i shouldn't have to spell it out for you, what are you 3?
I 3rd i I (11:09:59 PM): mike, i don't have the energy or time to play mind games. and NO, i don't no. i haven't done anything.
I 3rd i I (11:10:07 PM): and i'm in no mood to be treated this way, not today ... not now.
MAiKU (11:10:26 PM): she was right about you

I tried to bring a woman into this, but it didn't get a rise out of him. So I quickly aborted trying to make it look like a woman turned me on him..

I 3rd i I (11:10:32 PM): okay. whatever.
MAiKU (11:10:43 PM): you are a quitter
MAiKU (11:10:58 PM): a real friend doesn't give up and cry
I 3rd i I (11:11:00 PM): i'm gonna go now. this is lame. yeah .. that's me - right.
MAiKU (11:11:37 PM): do you know when my birthday is?

How fucking sad huh? The only thing I could think of is that he possibly forgot my birthday. MY CREATIVE JUICES WERE REALLY FLOWING WITH THAT ONE HUH? I took a great gamble here, and I was right. He didn't know my birthday, so now I had fuel for my fire...

I 3rd i I (11:11:42 PM): i'm not crying, at all. i'm actually just confused and seriously don't have to put up with this when i don't deserve it.
MAiKU (11:12:08 PM): do you?
I 3rd i I (11:13:05 PM): i thought i had it written down in my address book .. but i don't.
MAiKU (11:13:13 PM): yea cuz you missed it genius
I 3rd i I (11:13:13 PM): did i miss it? is that why you're mad at me?
MAiKU (11:13:29 PM): real friends dont miss birthdays
MAiKU (11:13:37 PM): it hurt me so much that you missed it
I 3rd i I (11:14:44 PM): gosh ... mike, i'm sorry. but you can't go calling me an asshole, and saying things like 'she was right, you are a quitter,' .. and blah blah blah. for one, you don't have ANY clue what goes on in my life, or why i would have missed it, two ... you shouldn't just toss someone away because they made a misake.
I 3rd i I (11:14:58 PM): we all make mistakes.

Wow shit, for the first time in my life I actually started feeling bad. I wasn't quite getting the reaction I wanted, and so I figured I should stop harassing this poor guy.

MAiKU (11:15:33 PM): you're right skip
MAiKU (11:15:40 PM): I have been tough on you
MAiKU (11:17:41 PM): I apologize too
I 3rd i I (11:17:54 PM): and who was 'she' - that said i was a quitter?

Oh snaps, perhaps it did bother him afterall!!!

MAiKU (11:18:05 PM): not important
I 3rd i I (11:18:13 PM): yeah it is. cuz i'm not.
I 3rd i I (11:18:41 PM): i've been writing you .. and looking for you, etc. if i was a quitter, i doubt i'da been trying over and over to get ahold of you.
MAiKU (11:18:54 PM): I know skip
MAiKU (11:19:21 PM): You truly are a great friend, and it was my mistake for letting her get in my ear for you forgetting the most important day of the year to me... I'm sorry

ROFL how fucking sappy is that? I mean shit, I was practially having sex with him here...

I 3rd i I (11:19:36 PM): tell me who 'she is.
I 3rd i I (11:19:46 PM): your own mind?
I 3rd i I (11:19:52 PM): (for real)
MAiKU (11:20:46 PM): it's not important
I 3rd i I (11:20:51 PM): when was your b-day? to be honest, i remember talking to you about it. i thought i added it to my address book on AOL ... but i guess i didn't. i dunno. but i do remember talking about it .... and as a matter of fact, i think we talked about me flying there, or at least about whether or not i was gonna be in utah for it.

How do I even guess these things correctly? Man, I really am the Lord Jesus Christ.

I 3rd i I (11:21:01 PM): MIKE ... it is important to ME!!!
I 3rd i I (11:21:17 PM): grr .. anyway, i guess you're not gonna tell me. so forget it. ugh.
MAiKU (11:21:27 PM): its best that you just forget it
I 3rd i I (11:21:30 PM): why?
MAiKU (11:21:31 PM): I think for both of our sakes
I 3rd i I (11:21:43 PM): i think, if you trusted me as your friend, that you'd tell me.
I 3rd i I (11:22:08 PM): it's not like i'm gonna think anything less/more of YOU. i'd just like to know where this came from ... i think i deserve that much.
MAiKU (11:23:39 PM): I don't know what to do
I 3rd i I (11:24:29 PM): about?
I 3rd i I (11:24:36 PM): just tell me.
MAiKU (11:24:49 PM): =\

Jesus Christ, I seriously couldn't think of anything so I kept stalling...

I 3rd i I (11:25:06 PM): mike .. c'mon.
MAiKU (11:26:39 PM): she's just one of my friends
MAiKU (11:26:45 PM): she's very manipulative
I 3rd i I (11:27:01 PM): does she know me?
MAiKU (11:27:18 PM): only of you
MAiKU (11:27:58 PM): she probably feels threatened by you maybe
I 3rd i I (11:28:34 PM): does her name start with "T"

I mean he was actually very mature up there. Now he's resorted to teenage kid games of guessing the fake lady.

MAiKU (11:28:39 PM): stop doing this
I 3rd i I (11:28:45 PM): does it?
MAiKU (11:28:51 PM): skip please stop
MAiKU (11:28:57 PM): I don't want to start any trouble
I 3rd i I (11:29:07 PM): mike, look ... if it's 'what' i'm thinking ...
I 3rd i I (11:29:14 PM): you need to understand something ...
MAiKU (11:29:23 PM): ?

WOW I seriously must of discovered something great. I'm actually dying to know what I might of discovered.

I 3rd i I (11:29:49 PM): -- ane because you won't tell me? all i can do is make my own assumptions.
I 3rd i I (11:30:17 PM): does it start with a T
I 3rd i I (11:30:23 PM): it does. i know.
MAiKU (11:31:11 PM): =(

I should be an actor?

I 3rd i I (11:31:32 PM): tell me her name
I 3rd i I (11:31:36 PM): and we can go from there.
MAiKU (11:31:39 PM): why you already know

Great dodge huh?

I 3rd i I (11:31:47 PM): why are you doing that mike
MAiKU (11:31:54 PM): It's hard for me to talk about it
I 3rd i I (11:31:54 PM): let me tell you something ....
MAiKU (11:31:59 PM): please, i need advice

I would never of predicted that I am actually going to regret fucking with this guy...

I 3rd i I (11:32:24 PM): you have NO CLUE about some stuff ... things i've done since leaving utah, and what i've gone trough.
I 3rd i I (11:32:36 PM): how i died THREE TIMES ... heart stopped, etc
I 3rd i I (11:32:42 PM): how i've been in and out of hospitals
I 3rd i I (11:32:47 PM): ALL BECAUSE OF THAT

Again, this is internet so you have to take this with a grain of salt. Part of me felt bad, but mostly in a "oh, shit" sort of bad. Not bad enough to call the thing off. Part of me was starting to wonder if he was playing me, or if I was playing him...

I 3rd i I (11:33:04 PM): i haven't told you any of it .. because i didn't want to be judged
I 3rd i I (11:33:54 PM): i have a MAJOR problem with that ....
MAiKU (11:34:12 PM): i don't know what to say

And I really didn't!!!

I 3rd i I (11:34:14 PM): i was homeless for a while... because of it.
I 3rd i I (11:35:08 PM): i spent 9 months of last year ... in and out of hospitals, and in and out of therapy ...
I 3rd i I (11:35:21 PM): i left my last boyfriend because of it.

Oh.......My........God...

I 3rd i I (11:35:39 PM): i have friends who are dying of AIDS because of it.

I FUCKING SHOULD OF KNOWN!! I MEAN THE CLUES WERE THERE! HOW FUCKING SENSITIVIE HE IS... for christ sake, his name is SKIP! OH MY GOD DO I HAVE AIDS NOW? DO I HAVE TO BURN THE CLOTHES I'M WEARING NOW?

I 3rd i I (11:36:03 PM): and i have other friends who i've had to take 'OUT' of my life .. because of it .. because i can't be around it.
I 3rd i I (11:36:08 PM): i was homeless.
I 3rd i I (11:36:16 PM): i dealed.
I 3rd i I (11:36:42 PM): you have to understand, that in my personal life ... i have NO room for it, simply because i am ad addict - and have to stay away from it.
I 3rd i I (11:37:18 PM): anyway, i'm really saddened that YOU, -- someone i'd never dream would do it -- has done it.

Wait a minute.... drugs? wtf? I thought we were talking about anal sex? Wait a minute, is skip a girl? or a druggy fag? My god now i'm confused!!!

I 3rd i I (11:37:38 PM): it's not like the mike i know .. the mike that got mad at ME at axiz one night .. for doing E.
MAiKU (11:38:56 PM): i'm sorry
MAiKU (11:38:59 PM): i have sinned
I 3rd i I (11:39:12 PM): anyway, i'm not pointing fingers mike. i'm just saying, you need check it at the door .. before it ruins your life - like it almost did mine, and like it has so many of my friends. i have friends in prison for LIFE because of it. and me? well, because i was sloppy with it? i got caught with about $3000 worth at a club .. and almost got sent to prison.
MAiKU (11:40:18 PM): you're right

Honestly, at this point I really don't know how we've gone from being mad at each other, to a girl who's name starts with a T to gay sex to drugs.... but now I felt it was my mission, to find out if he was a fag or if he was a she!!

MAiKU (11:41:39 PM): why did you leave your boyfriend?
I 3rd i I (11:41:58 PM): because it was ruining me.
MAiKU (11:42:11 PM): do you want to be my girlfriend?
I 3rd i I (11:42:27 PM): mike. you're high.
MAiKU (11:42:28 PM): I'm sorry, bad time for a joke skip...

FUCK, what kind of answer is that!! Damn it!!! Plan B!

I 3rd i I (11:42:45 PM): you're not 'you' ... right now.
I 3rd i I (11:43:23 PM): and you're being obnoxious and sarcastic and ... well, it's freaking me out a lil.
MAiKU (11:43:26 PM): I'm low on self esteem maybe
I 3rd i I (11:43:37 PM): so you go and do THAT?
I 3rd i I (11:43:51 PM): i wish you coulda seen what it did to me.
I 3rd i I (11:43:56 PM): you wouldn't have known me.
MAiKU (11:44:12 PM): what else can i do? I wanted you to be there with me on my birthday.. you could of hugged me, held me, kept me strong

Wow, s/he was starting to get suspicious so I had to go into another direction.... and it BACKFIRED fuck!! I'm losing!! and then i BLEW IT WITH TEH DUMBEST QUESTION EVER!

MAiKU (11:47:28 PM): do you shave your legs during the winter?
I 3rd i I (11:47:46 PM): anyway .. as sad as i am that you're involved with her, there's not anything more i can do than hope you see how to get out of it.
I 3rd i I (11:48:25 PM): and even more sad .... and you may not understand this .... i can't talk to you when you're like this.
I 3rd i I (11:48:33 PM): it's sad for me ... and hard ON me to do it.
I 3rd i I (11:49:01 PM): i have a major problem with it. and i can't allow her to come into my life - anymore.
MAiKU (11:49:11 PM): I won't let her
MAiKU (11:49:16 PM): I will quit for you and for myself
MAiKU (11:49:18 PM): for us
I 3rd i I (11:49:25 PM): i've had to let a lot of friends go because of it. and it's sad to think you might be one.
MAiKU (11:49:31 PM): I dont' want to see you in more pain
MAiKU (11:49:35 PM): and i don't want to lose you
I 3rd i I (11:49:40 PM): mike. talk to me when you're not hi gh.
MAiKU (11:49:51 PM): i'm not
MAiKU (11:49:53 PM): i'm being serious

I 3rd i I signed off at 11:50:42 PM.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

FUCK I ACTUALLY LOST AN IM WAR

NOOOOOO!!!

NOOOO!!

NO!!!!

I 3rd i I signed on at 11:56:45 PM.

YES!!! YES!!! YES!!

MAiKU (11:57:12 PM): I haven't even been practicing it for more than a week, I can easily quit for myself
I 3rd i I (11:57:32 PM): i really wish you the best and hope you can get your life back on track. because, even though other parts of your life may 'SEEM' on track? - with her in your life, nothing is really on track at all.
I 3rd i I (11:58:14 PM): i guess i'm just blown away. i guess i shouldn't be. i mean, i was (am) a good person, and got caught up in it. but the things is mike? it lead me to other things ...
MAiKU (11:58:58 PM): like sex?

My last final chance to get an answer.... is he a fag or a female? Last chance for you at home to decide... because we actually get the answer!

I 3rd i I (11:59:03 PM): the last time i 'died' ... heart stopped, etc? - i was on EIGHT THINGS at once (T, C, E, nitrous, pot, K, acid, .. etc)
I 3rd i I (11:59:18 PM): T, for me ... was never about sex.
I 3rd i I (11:59:24 PM): it was a lifestyle.
I 3rd i I (11:59:29 PM): i even slept on it.
I 3rd i I (11:59:33 PM): i couldn't function without it.
I 3rd i I (11:59:46 PM): i'm still recovering ... my usage was so bad.
I 3rd i I (12:00:01 AM): docs tell me i have yet another year or so to go before i'm back to my old self.
I 3rd i I (12:00:11 AM): AND, I"M VERY LUCKY to be disease free.
MAiKU (12:00:26 AM): definately
I 3rd i I (12:00:50 AM): i've had more sex than you can imagine. my whole life the last few years was nothing more than a partty.
I 3rd i I (12:00:53 AM): i've done porn.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I 3rd i I (12:00:58 AM): i've dealed drugs.
I 3rd i I (12:01:02 AM): i've done it all.
MAiKU (12:01:03 AM): you've done porn?
MAiKU (12:01:06 AM): I don't beleive it
I 3rd i I (12:01:07 AM): yes
I 3rd i I (12:01:10 AM): well, you don't have to.
I 3rd i I (12:01:18 AM): i'm just telling it like it is.
I 3rd i I (12:01:25 AM): boyzonly.com
I 3rd i I (12:01:28 AM): jerkoffboys.com
I 3rd i I (12:01:32 AM): seancody.com
I 3rd i I (12:01:34 AM): others

OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY WHY WHY WHY OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY DID I GO TO THOSE SITES TO CHECK AND WHY DID I JACK OFF TO IT TOO? WHY WHY WHY MY FUCKING GOD

MAiKU (12:01:36 AM): you're there?
I 3rd i I (12:01:40 AM): yes
I 3rd i I (12:01:58 AM): i was 'for hire' for a while.
I 3rd i I (12:02:01 AM): i've done it all.

I QUIT NO MORE I QUIT!! FUCK!! I LOST !! I LOST!! I LOST!!

I 3rd i I (12:06:40 AM): mike ... you're such a cute boy, so smart, and nice, and kind, etc. don't let this shit mess that up.

GOD DAMN IT STOP IT!! NOOOOOOO! I guess I didn't help matters with this fucking homo ass comment...

MAiKU (12:06:24 AM): hey i have a question
MAiKU (12:06:53 AM): do you mind if i masturbate to your porn pictures?
I 3rd i I signed off at 12:07:24 AM.


HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA FUCK THIS MADE ME FEEL DIRTY!!

BTW, T = Tweak = Drug